Hey mom: I`m in love!

I don`t remember exactly when or how I told my mom I was “dating” someone in prison, that I was in love with this person, and that I desperately needed her help getting out to see him some 600 miles away, but she was always supportive. Some people may think my mom is crazy, and maybe she is, but she has always, always, always supported my love for Jeremy and in that department she has really excelled as not only an understanding mother, but as an understanding human being. Over the years my mom has gotten to know Jeremy well over letters, phone calls, and a few visits. She has told me that she considers him her son. That is how amazing and wonderful of a person my Jeremy is.

Just because you’re caught up in a bad situation, and have made some mistakes doesn’t mean you’re a bad person not worthy of an actual life and love. I imagine that when people learn my husband is in prison they think I must be crazy, stupid, or otherwise naive to my own lifestyle, and that I must not really know the man I love. I will say that there ARE manipulative people in prison, but there are manipulative people down at your local 7-11 as well. The location or circumstance shouldn`t dictate how you view a person without getting to know them. I saw through the prison stamp on my letters from Jeremy and the barbed wire around the place I was entering. What I found was one of the best people I have ever met in my entire life and will probably ever have the pleasure of knowing.

Not all inmates are monsters, just like all free people aren’t always the best examples of upstanding citizens, and I sincerely feel like some of the people we have standing beside us on the streets are far more deserving of prison time than some of the inmates I have had the chance to get to know through Jeremy. It’s like society thinks that one mistake makes  you this terrible person that can never again function with other people. I am here to tell you, firsthand, that is the farthest thing from the truth. These inmates are your brothers, sons, husbands, boyfriends, and these inmates might just even be the reflection when you look in the mirror. I often wonder how people can pass such judgment as if they lead the most pristine lives, as if they aren’t one crazy incident away from a prison cell. These inmates are human beings; my husband is a human being.

I get to experience, vicariously through my husband, how the state of Nevada treats their inmates, and quite frankly it isn`t something I would wish on anyone. Like I said back in my first post, I`ve heard and read that Nevada is one of the worst states to be incarcerated in. The level of corruption that exists both on the tier, behind those walls, and at the central office of the NDOC, where life changing decisions are made, is astounding. I won’t say that ALL correctional officers and officials are bad because I have met my fair share of decent ones, and ones that I might even be friends with in another life, but some of these people I wouldn`t trust to bag my purchases at the local Wal-mart. Some of these officers are 1. Not too bright, and 2. Don`t have a professional or ethical bone in their body. Yet, the state of Nevada is giving these people a gun, a badge, and free reign to do what they think is “fair” in regards to the inmates. Who is supervising the bad apples while they supervise the “bad apples”?

It’s pretty sick if you really think of it. I imagine how frustrated my husband becomes with the officers yet has to keep it together because these people, who can barely manage to spell properly on a report they have falsified, will make his life hell if they want to. There is no one watching these “correctional” officers, and I dare say that some of them are worse than some of the inmates. If you’ve kept up with my blog you know that my husband is currently at a maximum security prison because a correctional officer that does not like him has falsified her report about an attack on my husband, and has made him the instigating party simply because she wants to. Even if you’re innocent, you’re guilty because you might just rub one of these gun slinging idiots the wrong way and there goes any small amount of freedom you may have. I will say that I`m mad as hell right there with my husband, but keeping a level head and working through this mess the legal way in order to ensure that my husband’s name is cleared, and that this individual is held accountable. Very frustrating, and mentally taxing when I think about it all.

I got sidetracked on a mini rant about the inept nature of some of Nevada’s finest. Back to my original, derailed train of thought: My husband is a good person, no, a GREAT person, who happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people, and here we are. There are some people who will think that Jeremy is getting what he “deserves” and they can certainly think that, and I pray that these people never find themselves in a situation where everything aligns for the worst. I`m sure a lot of people I know have looked Jeremy up online but I haven’t had any of my friends drop off on me as of yet. People closest to me, who have gotten to communicate with Jeremy, are blown away by his good nature and often ask me “How is he in prison?”.  If you believe everything you read online or everything the media tells you: I feel sorry for you and you will never know the truth about anything in life. Not everything is as it seems and I`ll talk more about that in another blog. But for now, take a good look at  yourself, and realize that you are no different than some these inmates .



About Desiree

Living my truth, one post at a time. View all posts by Desiree

2 responses to “Hey mom: I`m in love!

  • catbrat

    I’ve been curious about his case so I googled him to find more info and it just blows my mind as to why he is in there. Just from the way you talk about him even I – who doesn’t even know him – don’t feel he is capable of doing what he Is accused of doing. It makes me ill to think someone innocent is be considered guilty for such a disgusting crime. I really feel for him! 😦

  • letterstodesiree

    Suzy Q- It really is a crazy situation. Like I said, there is so much more to the story/case than what the media talks about. I`ll talk about specifics in another blog entry, but there was another person there who was a complete sociopath and could have very well done this. J blacked out and the story was pretty much fed to him. Evidence was “lost” and planted at the scene. All around corruption, and nonsense. That is why I started this blog: to raise positive awareness about my husband before trying to pursue any legal action to get him free. Thanks for reading as always, my dear. I appreciate it!

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