Recently while I was doing my Jillian Michael’s Yoga Meltdown DVD, I took notice of something she said and it has really pushed me through the last couple of days leading up to my visit with Jeremy yesterday, and it is still pushing me forward. These five words have allowed me to go into an anxiety inducing situation and come out feeling okay. Tired, stressed, intense, but in control and feeling like I can carry on. Jillian said, in regards to a particular move on the DVD, “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable”. I didn`t realize at the time that this was pretty much one of my overall themes. My life with Jeremy has been a series of shaken nerves, followed by peace, then more awkward, and finally calm. Lather, rinse, repeat. This isn`t an entirely negative reality, though, because I feel like pushing myself beyond my comfort zone is important to grow, to become stronger, and ultimately to win. Win at what? Win at my life. I`m not trying to compete for a prize, or claim I`m the best at anything, but I`m striving to win at MY life, and more important, my life with Jeremy. Very important business here 🙂
The ride out to the prison from the hotel seemed like it lasted forever, and I found my palms getting unreasonably sweaty, and my thoughts scattered to the wind. I was nervous but did my best not to portray any weakness in front of others because that just isn’t the way I roll. I continued to tell myself “get comfortable with being uncomfortable”, in my head. I`m buckled in for this ride with Jeremy until the wheels fall off. That is what we tell each other to reassure one another that we are in it for the long haul. “Until the wheels fall off, baby”, and it’s the truest statement that I can make to my husband. I didn’t used to be the type of person that kept my promises, or “my word”, or even my thoughts. I was flighty, unsure, and definitely not one to make a commitment and stick with it, but the last few years with Jeremy have shaped me into a promise keeping, truthful, and enduring individual.
So, while it is a taxing journey to be on, I am embracing the uncomfortable and trying my best to keep my head while I become accustomed to working through the difficult in life with my husband.
Until the wheels fall off.