I`m taking a day off work today. Mostly I just don`t think I can focus on work related crap today with all the thoughts that are swirling in my head. There are days when I feel like I`m constantly under attack and it is my own thoughts that are doing the attacking.
My husband should have gotten off disciplinary yesterday and I`m glad, but hesitant. I`m always bracing myself for the next stipulation, the next problem, the next delay. It will be about a week or more before the phone service at the prison switches his status so he can call me once a week instead of once a month and I`m anxious. Anxious to hear from him, anxious to exhale momentarily …..finally. It seems I have been holding my breath the last 10 months and I am exhausted, burned out, missing my husband, and ready for a change.
It’s early still and I`ve been sitting in the quiet of the morning, drinking tea, and working on legal research for my husband. It is the calm before the day starts, before it is go time, before I fly off the rails into the unknown. I guess all I can do is wait and enjoy a moment of calm no matter how precarious everything seems.