Well, it’s January 1st, 2014 and while many people are resolving to head to the gym more, be better people, eat healthier food, and make more money, I`m hoping that my husband will surprise me with a phone call today instead of calling tomorrow for our scheduled weekly talk. I don`t make resolutions because life rarely unfolds the way we would like it to anyways. All you can do is try your best and know that life happens equal parts as it is meant to happen and how much effort you put into it.
Just over a year ago I thought I had my routine down, I believed in some degree of order and fairness. Just over a year ago my boat had not been rocked yet. Routine breeds comfort and when you get comfortable you start experiencing tunnel vision. Tunnel vision leads to blindness to the rest of the world and to your surroundings. I`m not talking about your immediate physical surroundings but it blinds you to the fact that unfair things are going to happen, people are going to hurt you, and your life can change in an instant.
Luckily, this change usually makes us stronger more resilient people, able to move forward when we thought we couldn`t before. The last year of my life has changed me in ways I cannot express. The change has been difficult, sad, revealing and necessary. While 2013 was filled with a lot of ups and downs, personal struggles, and way too much time away from my husband, it was also filled with realizations about myself and my life that I simply did not want to acknowledge before. I`m glad 2013 is over but I could not have entered 2014 without those 365 days of madness.
For 2014 I hope to connect with my husband more and that circumstances in that area of my life are dramatically altered for the best. I hope to be the best self I can be at this age, in every moment. I hope to have more personal courage, to be kinder, to dream while I`m awake, and to be happy. Mostly I hope that I don`t look in the rear view mirror of life except to relive positive memories.