The charge was murder

I’ve put off writing this entry for a really long time, not because I`m nervous about it, but because I think others are nervous about it. I used to tell people that my husband was in prison for drugs. “Yeah, drugs, such a shame”, I would say and I would feel my entire being tense up. Obviously no one is screaming from the rooftops that their significant other has been charged with murder and is now in prison with a life sentence, but I don`t want to lie. I don`t like lying. I don`t believe in it, especially not when it comes to the “big stuff” in life. Definitely not when it comes to how you live your life and what and who you live it for. I spent so long letting things not add up with others, pretending so much while I would say “I think he has another year or so left”. Well, another year has turned into years and people wonder and I no longer have the capacity to be anything but truthful.

Yes, my husband is charged with a murder that happened quite a while ago. That is not to say that it is something to take lightly or to be swept under the rug, but I`m simply stating that it happened many years ago, that the details of the entire story are unknown, skewed, manipulated, and no one actually knows what happened except for one person and that person is not my husband. You don`t just wake up one day and think to yourself “I`m going to kill someone today” unless you really are some seriously fucked up person and in that case, you probably shouldn`t function in society freely. The truth is that things happen, circumstances are brought together in the worst way, evidence is forged, interview tapes are “lost”, the only other eyewitness is the one who told the accused what he did. He didn`t ask what he did, but he told him. Suspicious. The law is not cut and dry and though it seems that corruption and set-ups and lost evidence of innocence only happens in the movies, it does happen in real life and at a much larger volume than we would like to believe. Why don`t we want to believe that? Because we know it could happen to us, it could happen to anyone. We are all just one bad situation away from life in prison without parole. You just don`t know.

I will never say that my husband is guilty or innocent, and neither will he, but the circumstances surrounding his case are messy, forced, unjust. Now, you may be thinking I`m some naive woman, some brainwashed spouse, someone with just a few screws loose. If I thought for a moment that my husband was some whacked out murderer I would come out and say it. I believe that some people truly do belong in prison, so I`m not out to defend the entire inmate population. I`m simply here to say that not all prisoners are made alike, just like not all free people are made alike.

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About Desiree

Living my truth, one post at a time. View all posts by Desiree

6 responses to “The charge was murder

  • Stephanie

    I know that took courage to post, and I am so proud of you my friend!

  • clgreer0530

    I know how hard it is to open up and let people in…this last year as I fight for my husband’s freedom I have been exposed completely. My face was on the front page of the newspaper and all over the news because he was back in court. My secret was out. I was nervous and extremely scared but I have found support from some of the most unlikely people and it feels good to not have to hide. We live a very hard and lonely life that most people can not or do not want to truly understand. Thank you for your courage. Your words give me hope. Stay strong!!

    • Desiree

      Thank you for reading and commenting. I definitely feel for you and I can relate to the struggle. Isn’t it surprising when people are supportive and are not so quick to judge? I’ve found so much strength in my friends and family and their unending love for both myself and my husband. I hope this year treats us both well. Best of luck to you.

  • missynyx

    I feel the need to acknowledge your obvious strength in how artfully and articulately you expressed this and then furthermore by hitting Publish. Following that, I understand where you are coming from. It really is tragic that only people who have been through the system, directly or indirectly, seem to understand that it is exclusively grey area. There is no black and white and nothing is ever simple.

    Your husband is lucky to have a woman with your strength by his side. I truly hope that proper justice finds you both and that you might resume your life together again. As a fellow inmate wife, I have nothing but respect for those staring down life sentences. I pray that I one day possess even half your strength. 🌹

    • Desiree

      Your comment has come at such an opportune time for me, so thank you. It’s definitely been a struggle dealing with the harsh reality of the situation but words like yours truly encourage me. Thank you so much for reading and replying so thoughtfully. It makes all the difference.

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